homestyle raunch

Random Thoughts

2012-02-12T18:01:00.000-05:00

I'm still feeling pretty uninspired and a lil lazy. Gotta start exercising my little "c" creative so that I can get back to bigger and better things. Today I learned that:

- Since grade school, I have not been able to wear high heels and I think that has not changed to this day. Perhaps that has something to do with my inability to wear them for extended periods of time.

- Even with the lines of graph paper, I am unable to draw non-slanted lines.

- The temptation of drawing a little butthole on dogs is just too much for this homestyle raunchmonster to resist.

2012-01-16T18:57:00.002-05:00

I'm totally baffled right now, because around 1 o clock this afternoon I was assuring myself that I'd be super productive on my new drawing table that I finally fully installed, and the next thing I know, it's almost 7 at night and all I have to show for myself are just a few measly drawings. When I first sat down to the desk, I thought that maybe I could use some coffee, so I walked over to the grocery store. Instead, I bought no coffee, lots of vegetables, some boric acid, and recycling bags. To be fair, there are coffee beans at home that I could have just used instead of going to the store...But I needed some veggies anyway.

Then, I thought, perhaps it'd be nice to try to draw myself...Which is what the above drawing is supposed to be. I think it looks like me, but the thing about this that kinda bums me out is that I drew myself a little fatter than I really am. Back to the drawing board...

A Journal Entry

2012-01-12T23:04:00.001-05:00

Today's entry comes from my "Drunkbook" - a notebook I generally reserve for when I get bored sitting alone at bars waiting for my friends to show up. Instead, in this case I was waiting in IKEA for about an hour for a friend. Entry justified.

Getting back to my (awkward, unfortunate) roots...

2012-01-10T16:41:00.002-05:00

I asked my mom to dig up pictures from my Bat Mitzvah - that awkward age that is unkind to almost all of us. Here are a few of the gems she's sent me... To be completely honest, I look almost the same except no braces or up-do. God help us all.

2012-01-08T16:17:00.000-05:00

2012-01-07T19:40:00.001-05:00

2012-01-05T10:27:00.001-05:00

2012-01-04T23:01:00.001-05:00

2012-01-04T21:17:00.001-05:00

Trying to Get My Groove Back

2012-01-04T20:52:00.001-05:00

As is probably apparent, I've been sort of on a creative hiatus but I'm FED UP. No more not making stuff. Here is the kind of pathetic first attempt at getting back into that creative groooove.

gotta get back into updating this lil guy

2011-12-27T01:09:00.000-05:00

Jessica Katz Preparing for Hanukkah

2011-12-12T21:49:00.003-05:00

Jessica received a very thoughtful pre-Hanukkah gift from my favorite RN today. Don't tell her that I am planning to eat all the gelt.

"LOOKIN' GOOD @ WORK"

2011-12-06T00:33:00.000-05:00

2011-11-17T00:01:00.002-05:00

A washed-up figure skater imagines what could have been if she hadn't choked when she had her big chance...

my first dog

2011-11-15T23:54:00.001-05:00

I miss this lil poocher.

Another Gem

2011-11-09T15:37:00.001-05:00

"March 6, 1996

Today I went to poterey class. We made cups. Mine is a soup mug. When I glaze my mug I will write Molly around it. At each notch I will make a circle (or dot). It will be writen in light blue. It'll have confettie. Lots will be wite. My cup is a slab cup. A slab is a flat peace of clay. I used an 11 inch long slab. It's about 4 and 1 half inches wide. The handle looks like a capital C. When it goes in the ciln it will shrink."

Something I find sort of funny about all these journal entries is the matter-of-factness with which I deliver my bizarre concept of reality. Like, is there actually such a thing as a soup mug? In retrospect, this idea may have just been a product of the fact that my father has always preferred to eat his soup out of mugs...He's always been pretty particular about what TYPE of mug he likes to use for soup-holding purposes. I'm glad my mom keeps sending me these. If only Miranda July didn't just publish a book of a book she wrote as a child...

From the Mixed-Up Files of Ms. Molly S. Roth

2011-11-07T23:22:00.002-05:00

"Jan. 3, 1996

I had a dream. It took place at a place near my balet class. The time was in the Middle Ages. Angelica asked her dad for a suit is shing armor. It was all blody. There was a dragin that breathed out fire. It was really what it was like in the Middle Ages. I know what it was like because I was at the Renaissance festible. I went jousting and I got knighted too. My dream was wered. I had it in the morning."

My favorite thing about this is that I managed to spell "Renaissance" correctly, but failed miserably at festival. It's weird, because I don't think I've really changed all that much since 1996 - granted I've gotten a little bit better at spelling and grammar, but I still fully understand what my 8 year-old self was talking about, which is pretty freaky!

"Feb. 21, 1996

I think I need glasses. I know eventually I will need them for my mom and dad have them. I think so because I've tested my eyes. I can spell or read stuff 1-10 feet away. But I can't see things 11-what ever the last number is. I know that I'm near sited too."

a drawing of a jewish gangster

2011-11-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

2011-10-31T20:35:00.000-04:00

2011-10-31T00:15:00.000-04:00

happy halloween

Krilly's Masterpieces

2011-10-29T17:53:00.000-04:00

These are what it would look like if Kristina and I had babies, I guess...A couple delightful exquisite corpses. A good way to spend Saturday.

This is what it's come to

2011-10-17T20:04:00.000-04:00

Sharpie, White Out, and Hi-Liter on post-it.

2011-10-11T23:57:00.001-04:00

My Cat's Secret Life

2011-10-11T00:02:00.003-04:00

Tonight I was walking near Union Square and discovered the double life led by my beloved cat, Jessica. Apparently while I'm at work, she's out making her way as a soothsayer. Who'd've thunk it?

2011-10-06T23:27:00.000-04:00

Man, it's been a while since I've posted. Gotta get back into this. Making things every day was great. Maybe once I have my desk all cleaned off, I can go for it.

Today I got an e-mail from North Face about a shipping label generated for returning a North Face jacket on warranty. I'm not sure which Molly Roth this was for - I mean it's for Molly D. Roth, not me, Molly S. Roth - but I've gotta say, it makes me feel a little strange to be one of many of my kind. I don't even rank very well in Google searches. Gotta amp up my SEO power.

2011-09-08T23:42:00.000-04:00

I started my day with this picture (thanks, Kathy!) and ended it drawing over the following:

one of the good things that came out of my 10 months living in a tomb

2011-09-03T12:13:00.000-04:00

Also I guess a by-product of my being a semi-hoarder and not wanting to get rid of things. Regardless, I think that whatever water damage happened to these pictures, it was not damage at all. Pretty cool, huh?

Man, I am such a mysterious woman.

2011-09-01T23:17:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I really wonder how/why songs get stuck in my head. I mean, most of the songs that I have stuck in my head don't really reflect my tastes in music. This one, for instance. I was just "chillin'" in my bedroom and suddenly I realize that I am silently singing this to myself. WHY! Dear lord.

I've had lots of strange information floating through my head today. Like I learned about how it used to be in vogue in ~18th century England to have your own personal hermit living on your property. Or how about this: 1/4 of the species of mammals are bats! And there are these bats that have a SIX FOOT WINGSPAN! THAT IS SO TERRIFYING. On the other hand, there also exist bats that are tiny, cute, and white, like lil marshmallows.

You learn something new every day.

More Pix from the Past

2011-08-30T22:46:00.000-04:00

This is a picture of my sister, mother, and me. I must have been seven years old here...around the start of my awkward period, which has persisted into my near-mid-twenties. I can clearly remember purchasing the dress I'm wearing with my mom, and thinking how fashion-forward I was wearing that retro, 70's polyester get-up. It was neither the first nor the last of my misguided attempts at dressing well.

2011-08-23T23:41:00.000-04:00

It's always good to be prepared. My friend Sophie and I have discussed possible memorial tattoos for whoever checks out first. Obviously, it is my hope that we are old ladies when the tats happen - or maybe while we are both still alive and well. Regardless, I think my next little book-type-thing will be a few possible suggestions for Sophie.

2011-08-22T22:01:00.003-04:00

I honestly just don't understand Facebook's sponsored adds. These are insane.

2011-08-21T12:43:00.002-04:00

weird doodles

2011-08-16T22:16:00.000-04:00

2011-08-15T20:45:00.002-04:00

This is much better than the first version, in my opinion.

2011-08-08T07:59:00.001-04:00


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Another one for Abby

2011-08-07T16:03:00.002-04:00

2011-07-26T09:53:00.000-04:00

I am in Michigan until Thursday. It's been a while since I've updated this, I know - it's just so hard to "have it all" right now because, honestly, I'm in a creative slump. Instead, I'm having all these really lame and banal thoughts whirling through my head, like, "Wow, I wish I had a washer/dryer in the place where I live - that would be amazing" - real lame stuff.

The thing about slumps is I think it's actually better to just ride it out rather than fight it. Maybe I'm wrong - wouldn't be the first time.

2011-07-12T23:11:00.001-04:00

2011-07-11T01:56:00.001-04:00

Abby, I am posting this for you, because I think you will find it hilarious. A picture of me from probably around 3rd grade that my dad e-mailed me today. "Cheeky".

2011-07-02T08:11:00.002-04:00

is this illegal?

2011-06-29T23:30:00.000-04:00

This is such a good screenshot. It's worth it.

some hand made calling cards

2011-06-28T22:58:00.000-04:00

Well, my life is still happening, which I'm very glad about. And I still don't really have any one full-time job, so in an attempt to further my career, I've joined a networking group. It's called "Women in Children's Media," and being a member involves going to all kinds of events and meeting all these other cool ladies who are doing the things that I'm probably interested in doing. The first event that I'm going to attend is something involving American Girl Dolls, and I am looking forward to meeting women with my interests who are successful. Since I'm kind of strapped for time, I decided to make hand-made calling cards to hand out at the event. Since I went on a free catalog ordering kick and got a bunch of dogalogs...my calling cards are going to be mostly canine-oriented. Hopefully I don't hand any cards out to a cat-lover.

2011-06-26T22:33:00.002-04:00

2011-06-23T18:28:00.001-04:00

(not mine)

2011-06-17T17:21:00.001-04:00

2011-06-16T17:17:00.001-04:00

A lame "I LIVE IN NEW YORK" picture

2011-06-15T19:00:00.000-04:00

It's cool that I live in New York, though.

Why I haven't been blogging...

2011-06-14T10:25:00.001-04:00

2011-06-09T08:23:00.001-04:00

2011-06-03T07:25:00.001-04:00

2011-06-02T17:07:00.000-04:00

Quick update: I'm still alive. Been working a lot except I've had the last two days off, which has been nice. Spent much of today writing hilarious articles for the Writers' Network, because that's a good way to make a little extra cash. I have a few drawings I've done on post-it notes that I would like to post on here, so don't give up on me yet!

I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I really want to start drawing more comics. I need to figure out a way to force myself to do it. It's so easy to forget how much I love doing it.

2011-05-25T04:37:00.001-04:00

Grandpa Leonard & Me

2011-05-23T10:01:00.001-04:00

2011-05-20T21:27:00.002-04:00

Today I decided to make a beautiful face.

2011-05-20T01:28:00.000-04:00

I should really get over my recent obsession with the history of vice in New York City and instead focus on drawing beautiful pictures. I have a few gems that I drew on post-its the other day but I have been too lazy to scan them yet. Woops! Sorry.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep earlier, but when I woke up an hour ago from the nap, I was totally convinced it was time to go to work and that I was late. Isn't it the worst when that happens?!

2011-05-11T21:59:00.000-04:00

Please, if you read this, don't send a link to this post to my grandmother. She always gets upset with me for "loving to make ugly faces" and for never "just looking good" in photographs. If I were to tell her that this is a result of my "not being photogenic" she would get angry with me and tell me to stop being so negative. Regardless, I think this is the case - I'm just not photogenic - it doesn't bum me out. People with really expressive faces do NOT generally photograph well. And whenever there's a camera aimed at my face, I freak out and make the weirdest, ugliest expression impulsively.

Anyway, this is a picture of me taken yesterday. I guess this kind of explains why I haven't "made it" yet as a model. It also, I think, proves that I have no concept of how I look at any given moment, because had I known that my shirt was falling off me, I probably wouldn't have worn it in a professional setting. Hopefully I straightened it out for the rest of the day - HOW THE FUCK DO WOMEN WEAR PURSES? I have so much to learn before I can really call myself a "grown up."

This was the picture taken of me this morning. I realized earlier on how weird I looked and while at work (where both pictures were taken) I drew up this lovely self portrait. This is the one my grandmother cannot see. This drawing. Sorry for being negative, but I can't get over how TURTLE-LIKE I look in this picture, and why is my necklace so crooked? To be honest, I've always thought I dress decently well, but maybe it's time somebody "What Not To Wears" me. These last two pictures are just drawings I did that aren't particularly special, except in that they're the first things I've drawn in DAYS. Office jobs are so much less exhausting than working in retail. It's amazing.

2011-05-11T08:04:00.002-04:00

The reason I haven't posted anything in such a long time is because I've been nutty-busy. It's rough. Today I'm going to be an phone operator. I never really saw my life taking that trajectory. But it's okay - I'm just rolling with the punches at this point. At least I'm getting jobs. Busy is so much better than bored.

2011-05-05T22:34:00.001-04:00

I miss Michigan.

2011-05-05T22:15:00.000-04:00

I didn't draw any of the things in this picture - they're from PictureBox shit (from here and here) - for a little ad on the site for the Fan Forum. As I said, I've been very busy. Today was my first day off since April 25th - which is good, right? That I've been busy? Because that means I've been making money, which means I can pay my rent without depleting my savings account. And that's good.

Anyway, the Fan Forum seems to be working out pretty well. Seems like people are actually getting into it, tweeting about it, etc. I've sort of come to this realization that I need to just have faith in myself and keep doing my thing, because I am hard working, creative, and smart, and eventually these things will help me make my way in the world. It's just a matter of continuing to try, which is exhausting, but worth it.

2011-05-03T22:42:00.000-04:00

Yo. Been working my ass off and so I haven't been drawing as much as I'd like. I'm still alive, though. At least I have that. And Jessica.

2011-04-29T19:23:00.000-04:00

I don't know if you've heard, but I am now in charge of a sweet new blog called Fan Forum on the PictureBox website. I'm hoping that people start submitting fan art to me soon. It'd be really awkward if nobody submits anything and I end up just having to make my own fan art under assumed names.

Would that be an unscrupulous start to my first semi-professional blog? Don't worry - my days of forging submissions are over (but the forgeries we thought up during the days of Shagnet on WCBN were pretty damn funny sometimes, you've got to admit).

2011-04-25T17:17:00.001-04:00

I think turning 23 has changed me.

2011-04-25T13:16:00.002-04:00

Today is my 23rd birthday. It is also Jessica's and my 2nd anniversary. Two years ago today, we first met. It was a beautiful coming together of creatures. Just so you know, I still adore her. Here pictures of some funny Easter hats I saw yesterday on 5th Avenue. Also, check out my venn diagram in the Venn Diagram Museum!

2011-04-21T00:56:00.000-04:00

The silver lining of under-employment is that I have time to tweet for PictureBox about Mr. Fatty.

2011-04-17T22:53:00.002-04:00

This song has been stuck in my head for the last few days. It's driving me nuts!

2011-04-17T00:11:00.001-04:00

2011-04-13T10:16:00.003-04:00

Tamale Tapes Preview from jacob Hurwitz-Goodman on Vimeo.

Jacob is coming home from Ghana in June. I can't wait to see his documentary.

2011-04-12T22:41:00.000-04:00

I drew this fellow today. For some reason, when he appeared on the page, it occurred to me that his name has to be Rolph. Not Ralph. Rolph. He's not a great-looking guy, but he has a magnificent personality. His friends love best his knack for story-telling - never does Rolph leave the room without evoking a hearty laugh from his companions. Best of all, he cooks a mean ziti.

Simple Request

2011-04-10T23:19:00.002-04:00

Please send some good vibes my way tonight and tomorrow morning.

B-)

2011-04-09T04:58:00.002-04:00

My sister and dad despise baby corn; they like to talk about how it freaks them out. Makes me want to look up the wikipedia page for baby corn. Tempting 5am reading. Baby corn doesn't particularly bother me. If it's in my meal I will eat it - wutevah.

2011-04-03T22:50:00.002-04:00

2011-04-02T17:47:00.005-04:00

Although I know that I definitely had friends during my early high school years, I remember spending an awful lot of time alone in my bedroom, talking to people I didn't know on a kinda lame online forum (for the fans of Saddle Creek Record Label), and taking many too many photographs of myself to post online and receive affirmation of my attractiveness from weird probably old guys on the internet. Before you pass judgement, I have a feeling that almost anyone around my age likely went through a similar phase of simultaneous vanity and insecurity.

Thankfully, since then, I have dropped the vanity part and now just feel generally insecure a lot of the time about my appearance and believe only the negative things that people say about it (which I think is mostly me reminding myself of the kid in middle school who exclaimed at me, "My GOD you're ugly!" - I have a sort of encyclopedic memory of instances when I felt humiliated and ashamed...yet I can never seem to remember where my keys are!).

I'm digressing, though. My point here is basically that today I found myself back in the old mode of taking photos of myself to post on the internet. The cool thing is that I have an actual reason to do this - because I am now officially a published freelance writer (it's kind of a lame topic, but it feels good getting paid for doing what I studied in college), and so I need a sweet picture of myself to use for my profile. So I thought it might be kinda ~*fun*~ to post some of the pictures in the running. Unfortunately it seems like the problem with taking pictures of myself alone in my bedroom means that a lot of the pictures are pretty "myspace-y." I'm not sure they even actually look like me.

***Update*** I sort of came to realize that when I used this as my profile picture, I looked more like a mail-order bride than a freelance writer. Life is hard.

I'm going to post my favorite behind the cut. Click to view.

I hope that if I'm ever arrested, this can be used as my mug shot. Man, I look tough here.

2011-03-31T01:56:00.000-04:00

Sarah let me join her in her studio tonight and let me use her paints and some canvas scraps to mess around. I had a really good time. I am not at all good at painting but it's really fun to be in a studio again and get to push colors around on a surface. People who get to do this all the time whenever they want are really lucky humans. While I understand that I am not really a painter or anything, I'm pretty satisfied with my background for this and the way the colors all look together.

(just for fun)

2011-03-28T23:34:00.000-04:00

2011-03-27T13:09:00.003-04:00

Here's a little sketch of a comic that I drew yesterday...click to enlarge.

Just another lil guy.

2011-03-23T15:27:00.000-04:00

The Ghost of Purim Past

2011-03-20T13:28:00.002-04:00

Pictured above are two drawings produced by the same artist (I bet you can guess who). My dad e-mailed me this morning with a Purim greeting with the left image attached. Coincidentally, I drew a beautiful Purim-related picture just yesterday!

Behind the cut are more, random, and for some reason, blurry, drawings.

Speaking of drawings, I'm pretty pumped for tomorrow, since I've been invited to a Cartoon Network-hosted drink n draw open bar party. Probably the coolest thing I will do in New York before I get ultra famous and rich.

microminature collage

2011-03-17T00:16:00.002-04:00

2011-03-14T21:42:00.000-04:00

After more than a week of constantly working, I could use a break - but not an entire week off. Not working is just as bad as working too much. Without something to seek respite from, I often end up getting very little done. Aside from attempting to return a book at the library (but the drop box was full and the library closed on Mondays), getting stuck talking to another guy trying to do the same thing (and by "guy" I mean older gentleman whose accent I could barely understand and ended up, I think, trying to ask me out, and watching the documentary based off of Freakonomics, I really didn't do much.

I, did, though, draw a little.

This beautiful drawing is based off of something I overheard one of my roommates saying a little while ago. I should probably start writing down more of the craziness...

2011-03-10T13:29:00.002-05:00

2011-03-07T23:19:00.004-05:00

I made my first ever animated GIFs from some pictures I really like from JumpinJammerz.com (thanks, Jamie, for suggesting I do it). Man, that site cracks me up. Click through to check them out. It's kind of overwhelming to have on the main page.

2011-03-02T22:05:00.001-05:00

After much reluctance, my maternal grandmother finally obliged our family and logged on to the internet. She is pretty overwhelmingly anti-technology; although she lugs around an antiquated cell phone, she rarely uses it. In fact, a while ago she made a passing comment about needing to buy herself a secondary address book so that she could contact people on her cell phone from the car. When I suggested she input the numbers to her cell phone, she quickly changed the topic.

Anyway, my grandma finally realized that she has a greater chance of getting in contact with us by sending us e-mails. The only problem is that she has basically no understanding of how to edit what she has written, and every missive I receive from her includes at least one typo and some comment about, "I don't know what happened here..." They're really great and funny, and I feel compelled to share this with the world (a.k.a. the few people who frequent my blog, and maybe my future self when I go back and reflect on this). So, here you are. Bask in the glory of my grandmother's attempt to use the internet. Also: if you know what "T.T.B. of C." means, please tell me, because she signs every e-mail that way and I still have no idea what it's all about.

Dear Molly,you can devise as you go along.....lots of beans. I put browned ground veal in it.I don't know what happened to this letter. You have to do creative reading.

.LOVE GRAM T.T.B. of C
How did the portabellos and peppers go? I made a pot of chili for Rose and Sy. He called and was raving about it. I just improvised. I have not made chili in years,But Papa used to like it.
Also it is a good entree that

2011-02-28T20:59:00.003-05:00

Please excuse my light moping in the previous post. Maybe I won't end up a spinster. There must be at least an 18% chance that I won't. In the mean time, though, I should be focusing on my career and my artsncrafts. So that's what I will do. Today's little ditty is another exercise book-inspired piece. This time it's from a different, but still beautiful, book that I got at Value World named "Callanetics."

Now, before you go all kooky admiring my ability to render with watercolor magnificent backsides, I should probably mention that I simply painted over existing images in the book - a part in the beginning that chronicles the domestication of various Callanetics-tamed booties. I thought it looks pretty cool, though.

2011-02-27T17:10:00.003-05:00

This is all I can think about right now.

Side note: Like 30 Rock's Liz Lemon, I think I have officially decided to begin to prepare for my descent into spinsterhood. My relationship with Jessica should probably have been an indicator, but I guess I am just foolish. Time to accept my fate and get really into scrapbooking. To my credit, as far as I can tell, I think I'm going to be one of those super-cool spinsters who has a lot of friends (aside from her cats) and knows a lot of things and has traveled many places. So at least my scrapbook will brim with photos from interesting locales and fascinating tid-bits of information (to start - did you know that "tid-bit" used to be "tit-bit" but out of Americans' intensely repressive tendencies it was euphemized to the current form).

2011-02-23T21:25:00.000-05:00

This is a picture from one of my favorite books: Jane Fonda's Workout Book By Jane Fonda. I found this beauty at Value World a few years ago and if it hasn't helped me develop the world's most kickin' bod, it at least has provided endless inspiration.

Today, for example, I was fiddling around with watercolors (trying to shake things up a little). I started sketching out simple line drawings and then coloring them in with the paints. Unsure of what to draw, I started flipping through my various collage literature and decided to use the drawing above as a guide to my next exercise. Click to see the metamorphosis.

Ta da. A beautiful workout monster.

2011-02-21T08:41:00.002-05:00

I saw these footprints this morning when I was walking in the snow, and thought they looked a lot like fish, so I took a picture with my phone (which is strange, because I had my camera with me - it would have made the photo a lot better, I wonder why I didn't use it). When I emailed the picture to my dad, he said (unprompted by me - the I emailed him the photo without any subject line or explanation), "Cool, they look like fish swimming," so...I'm glad he agrees.

In the last few days I've been super busy, but somehow not actually racking up very many paid hours. Regardless, I've been tramping all over NYC - I went to the Upper East Side the other day to pick up some drawings from the amazing comic artist, Sam Gross (who was really delightful and had a really amazing studio); I have been working more at Anthropologie; I even went to a show last night right near my first apartment.

Will all this walking around the city, I've noticed that New Yorkers tend to walk way slower than I would expect. I don't think I am an especially fast walker, but I pass by so many people on the sidewalks and while transferring on the subway. What's the matter with these people? Why are they all walking so slow? I guess I can understand the women wearing stilettos, but beyond that I'm a little perplexed as to why I out-walk so many people on a daily basis.

Not the most mind-blowing musings - please bear with me.

2011-02-17T09:43:00.001-05:00

2011-02-16T19:51:00.001-05:00

2011-02-16T13:15:00.001-05:00

Safety Cereal

2011-02-10T16:46:00.006-05:00

I have been meaning to post this since I first purchased the cereal a little less than a week ago with Eric. We got it at the Hasidic grocery store. Now, you're probably thinking something along the lines of, "Molly, why are you posting a picture of a boring old box of cereal?" I understand your reservations, but please have a little more faith in me. So this is what we saw when we pulled the cereal off the shelf:

Fine. It's the Hasidic interpretation of Cheerios. Whatever. Nothing extraordinary, I understand. However, being the environmentalist that I am, I opted to stuff my groceries in my tote bag rather than waste a new plastic one. The cereal didn't fit, so I just held it in my arms. That's when Eric noticed the back side.

I swear to you, this is the back side of the cereal box posted above. In many ways, I feel it represents some aspects of my upbringing. Maybe I'm wrong, but this seems VERY JEWISH to me (the spirit of the message, I mean, rather than the obviously Jewishness). Rather than providing breakfasters with a word search or picture hunt like most cereal boxes do, of course the Hasids would take a very serious, verging on paranoid, pedagogic approach. God forbid customers mindlessly chomp away during their morning meal - we must prepare for the off chance that something goes awry and someone starts choking!

I guess it sounds crazy, then, when I say that I can relate to this (or maybe not, if you know me and how neurotic I am), but for some reason, it reminds me of a specific moment in my life. I was 16 or 17, and it was the first time that I had ever embarked solo on the treacherous drive to Ann Arbor.

Attempting to give me directions, my mom began by listing the roads I'd need to take and when to exit. For the most part, it was all pretty simple. Until, she warned me, this one part that was SO CONFUSING, I'd need to watch out for it because it would get EXTREMELY TRICKY. THERE WAS VERY LITTLE CHANCE THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO DISTINGUISH THE CORRECT EXIT FROM THE WRONG ONE! I sort of faintly remember her drawing out a sort of curly-q line that was supposed to illustrate my route, which effectively only made me more nervous about the impending journey (but I might be mistaking that with another instance of her horrific direction-giving - I love her, but the woman is not great at giving directions). Anyway, after all her warnings, I should have known I was doomed. I was so nervous about exiting at the right place that of course I got off of M-14 one exit too soon and found myself frantic and lost in Whitmore Lake.

I guess that the logic behind both my mother's directions and these safety instructions seem similar to me now, and that is why I am reminded of that story. Both are well-intentioned but it seems more likely to me that reading that information while eating breakfast is more likely to make a person choke than to actually save him/her.

I realized after cutting out the back side that it could possibly seem incredible that this was actually the back of a cereal box and not something completely random and separate that I just happened to think would be funny juxtaposed. Not so, and in order to prove this, I have scanned the side of the box, as well, which is ridiculous, as well.

Geez, being Jewish is stressful. At least it's good to know that the Jewish Defense League has my back if I start choking on my cereal.

2011-02-10T09:35:00.008-05:00

My eyeballs hurt because I have slept in my contacts a few nights in a row. I know it's irresponsible, but at the same time, it's so satisfying to awaken, already able to see everything around me perfectly. Beyond that delight, the lenses for my glasses are in pretty rough shape - all scratched up - and therefor provide subpar vision enhancement when compared to the contacts. Also, there's something to be said for the simple experience of not wearing glasses. It's kind of like taking off a mask that I've been wearing almost every waking hour since the third grade.

Last night, I buckled down and committed myself to some serious ArTs N cRaFtS time. And so, check out the fruit of my labor.

I'm not sure where I'm going with it, but I know that a beautiful and heart-tickling story will emerge from this first little panel. I know it doesn't seem like much, but this guy took me a lot longer than a New York Minute to draw. Of course, it was extremely enjoyable to puke out, but I guess I just wish I were faster. Should probably practice more in order to attain more satisfactory speeds. Anyway, at the very least, Hairy and Mr. Topside have been on many more adventures than just this one, watching "Reality TV," so that is something for the world and for me to look forward to.

2011-02-06T00:13:00.002-05:00

Why go into the city when you can bring the city into your own apartment? Thanks to my roommates, who are apparently architectural geniuses, there is now a glow-in-the-dark cityscape in the hallway of my apartment. If only it were night time all the time!

2011-02-03T20:56:00.013-05:00

There's nothing more embarrassing than when a person thinks s/he has written a hilarious but self-deprecating blog post, only to receive a concerned call from his/her relatives the next morning. It probably comes as no surprise, then, that this morning, my father called me and said, "Molly, I read your blog yesterday, and I wanted to make sure you're doing okay. You seemed pretty down on yourself,"

I assured him, "I'm fine, Dad," and tried to explain that I was trying to be humorous, rather than genuinely down-trodden and morose. Sure, I feel stressed out about my current employment situation, but at the same time, everything that I said yesterday was meant to be more of a caricature of how I feel rather than some lame and emo lament. Regardless, we spent the next forty-five minutes discussing how I need to be more patient with myself.

My Dad rules. Everybody likes him. He has a great sense of humor, he's really silly, sincere, sweet, and sensitive. When we have these heart-to-hearts, he always compares my trite and insignificant strife with his battle with leukemia. Bottom line, I feel I should make it clear: I do not feel THAT sorry for myself, I just want to be funny! Anyway, here is a doofy picture.

Usually on Thursdays, I go to my unpaid internship (or, at least, paid in sandwiches and comic books) at PictureBox publishing house. For some reason which currently eludes me, though, I had today "off." Still, I felt compelled to try to do some work so that when I go there tomorrow, I have something to show for myself. So now, I can proudly say, I have effectively gone through almost all of the tables of contents from issues of The Comics Journal, 1970-2009 and noted key words for each issue. Very riveting stuff.

In other news, I have been watching a WHOLE LOT of T.V., even though my apartment currently does not really have cable. Without a Trace is not a good show, but here is a picture I drew based off of a character from that show, who was having a conniption fit over her kid's disappearance, while I was loafing.

This evening, my roommate, Sarah, has convinced me (it didn't take much) to drink some wine and hang out in the living room and watch a little boob tube. Since around the time I began college, I had not been especially interested in television, until I discovered how HILARIOUS some current television shows are. Thursday nights on NBC are a shining example of such brilliant television. So I was up for waiting around to watch Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock. Before either of those shows started, though, we watched some sort of public broadcast channel about wildlife.

Tomorrow I am going to work not only at PictureBox, but also at Anthropologie (my super-respectable, high-profile retail gig), so I will have much more exposure to the bizzaro NYC population. Perhaps, (if I'm lucky) I will have a zanier story to report soon.

2011-02-02T14:46:00.012-05:00

Since Eric has been here, we've done so many things, most of which involve him berating me for not having a job, for having low self-esteem, and for not writing enough on my blog. He thinks that I should try to make my blog like Hyperbole and a Half, which is, by all means, well-done and funny.

However, considering that my readership consists of my Great Uncle Maurice (Hey! I miss and love you!) and a few others, I have trouble imagining a more involved blog leading to any kind of career-related success. Plus - who the hell even reads anymore? Nobody reads, right? Why would anybody bother when there are so many apps to occupy their time??? Regardless, Eric's a nag and so I had better humor him at least this once. I mean, what could anyone possibly desire to read about more than some woeful 20-something-nobody with a useless BA and no real skills kvetching about her bummer of a life? People eat that shit up. Everyone wants to hear someone they care nothing about complaining...

So, if it is not already apparent, I have been feeling a little down on myself lately about my inability to instantly become extremely wealthy. I have been in New York a couple months now. Why haven't I found any $100 bills on the ground? Why hasn't MTV approached me about starting a reality TV show? Why aren't I famous yet? As I ask myself all these questions, I fall into a dark cycle of insecurity. This hasn't been helped by the fact that both Eric and my roommate Sarah thought the below picture, which I drew from my imagination and was originally supposed to be an ugly, creepy old dude and morphed into a weirdo uggo girl, was a self-portrait.

So what? I have been spending many of my days in my apartment. Sure it is driving me a little crazy, but think of all the great things I've gotten done. For instance, today I ran the dishwasher.

On thinking about the past few paragraphs I've just typed out, I'm realizing that in spite of all my literary prowess (HA HA HA), it may not be possible for a lowly, uneducated dolt like me to really find a way to portray the utter and mind-numbing mundanity of my life in an interesting light. And yet, I realize that Eric's probably right and I really should start trying to write more in my blog. It's just that I don't know what anyone, assuming they could tear themselves away from their iPods and Wiis and whatever, would want to read about. I guess it's just time to start living a more interesting life so there's something more worthwhile to report than something like, say, "Hey, I have a unicorn head over my house key!"

Eric pays a visit...

2011-01-31T23:09:00.001-05:00

2011-01-30T10:08:00.000-05:00

unintended awesome screen shot

2011-01-28T10:02:00.000-05:00

2011-01-23T22:17:00.002-05:00

2011-01-17T15:40:00.001-05:00

2011-01-13T11:36:00.001-05:00

Cool old spreads from the September 1972 issue of Nova Magazine.